This pandemic turned me into an introvert
The big difference between extroverts and introverts is that introverts recharge by having time alone. They need space to process information and feel overstimulated in social environments, which can be draining. Extroverts, on the other hand, recharge through socializing with others and need this to function and, they perform best in social environments.
No one is one or the other. We are all somewhere in the middle of the extroversion/introversion spectrum, but we do have a preference.
At the beginning of the pandemic, around ten months ago, places of work, educational institutions and, most businesses were told to either close temporarily or work from home.
Temporary turned into forever, or so it seemed that way to me.
No doubt this would have been an introvert’s lifelong dream, but as an extroverted person, an ENFP personality type for those who are familiar with MBTI, this was my worst nightmare come true.
Doom and gloom, I thought to myself. And being the drama queen that I am, It felt like an apocalypse.
ENFP’s are the most introverted of the extroverts.
Naturally reflective because of our Fi (introverted feeling) cognitive function.
So, how hard could this be, right?
Wrong!
Until 20 March 2020, life was busy for me, either through work or social events with family and friends. Office by day, social events by evenings and weekends, a full diary just the way I liked it!
In a way, I equated being busy, with living a full and contentful life. I was busy being busy.
A social butterfly. When invited to any event, you can bet your bottom dollar I would be there and the first one there.
I have always hated the idea of not having anything to do.
The pandemic had changed how we do things and, it had changed the way of life for everyone, no doubt.
We have had to very quickly; adapt to a new way of living.
Working from home, homeschooling, and isolating from family, friends, and associates.
Zoom had become indispensable at first. A need for faster WiFi had become a priority. It became a survival tool.
I soon found myself hosting quiz nights, family celebrations ( added perks of no cooking), meetings for work (camera off, face mask on, hehe) to get my fix, and even doctor appointments were via zoom.
Little did we know; how long this would last.
The coronavirus pandemic had complicated things in many ways, but not all was doom and gloom. Most had slowly started to accept this new way of life.
I am now sure months of quarantine have proved that even introverts have their limits with alone time and, their experience would most likely be somewhat the opposite of mine.
The months of being forced through a pandemic (damn you pandemic!) have finally had me embrace the joy of missing out on the daily grind of a busy bursting schedule.
I can now admit, I did not realise how much I craved solitude until now.
Maybe it was always there, but I never had time realised it.
Now, while everyone is participating in Zoom quizzes and mastering the art of screen sharing, I am busy being antisocial, rediscovering and, reconnecting with my inner introvert. Also realising I quite like my newfound self.
Having been a social person, I was never alone, and yet upon reflection, I have never felt more isolated being in social gatherings. There were people all around me, but I could not connect on a deep level, and that is what I most craved. Everybody had a purpose or so it seemed, except me, maybe because I did not allow myself the time to find mine.
But I found recently, being alone doesn’t always equate to being lonely.
Solitude is much needed.
It’s the kind of solitude that feels liberating instead of suffocating. Far from the hustle and bustle of a busy life. Having said all that, I don’t want to make ‘loneliness’ seem romantic, I know that for so many people out in the world being alone can be a horrible feeling.
For those without family, working alone all day, the older generation whose loved ones have moved away, and children trapped at home with their parents and vice versa– the isolation can feel heavy, burdensome and, boring at times.
In the last few months, I’ve enjoyed rediscovering myself, and finding new hobbies.
I have taken the time to revisit the person I was before I grew up.
As sad as it may sound, I have even taken myself on dates, yes dates!!! Me, myself and I, ordering a meal for one.
Without the distractions of a busy life of meetings and meet-ups, I have read books expanding my knowledge, written and have had time to pause, take account and responsibility of my life direction.
I realise now how important it is for me to have a sense of self, to tap into happiness from within, to be my friend first and foremost.
I found relying completely on people and situations can ironically make one feel lonelier, due to them being finite or fleeting.
I think it’s healthy to exercise aloneness from time to time — to prove that through soul searching there is much to discover within ones self.
Tempting though it may be, I won’t become a complete recluse, but competitive busyness and a full schedule are out the window and, a more balanced approach, will be adopted.
I’m neither an introvert nor an extrovert but a person who still loves human interactions, and at the same time, I demand my own space to do something or even nothing.
